What Is a Mentor? How Empower’s Mentor Program Works
Around 6 million children in the United States will experience the death of a parent or sibling before they turn 18. And when that loss happens, most kids walk back into school, back into their neighborhood, back into life, surrounded by people who genuinely care but genuinely don’t get it.
They’ve never been there. They don’t know what it’s like to sit at dinner with an empty chair. Or to dread Father’s Day. Or to feel guilty for laughing at something funny three weeks after the worst thing of your life happened.
A grief mentor does know. That’s the entire point.
“Loss is survivable. A grief mentor doesn’t just say that. They show it.”
What is a grief mentor?
A grief mentor is an adult who has personally experienced the death of a parent and chooses to show up for a young person going through the same thing.
Not a counselor. Not a therapist. A real person who has walked this road and is now a few steps ahead.
The idea behind grief mentoring comes from a simple but well-supported principle: children learn best from someone who has already lived through what they’re facing. When a child who has lost a parent meets an adult who also lost a parent and built a life anyway, something shifts. The message isn’t told. It’s shown. Loss is survivable.
Empower is the only nonprofit in the world offering this kind of one-on-one mentor program specifically for bereaved children and young adults.
How is a grief mentor different from grief counseling for kids?
Many families searching for grief support for kids start by looking at grief counseling or professional bereavement services. Those can be valuable, and Empower isn’t a replacement for them.
What Empower offers is different. It’s community-based, not clinical. It’s built on a peer relationship between someone who has been where your child is and a young person who needs to see that the road ahead is walkable.
Grief counseling for kids often focuses on processing what happened. A grief mentor focuses on life going forward: showing a young person, through ordinary time spent together, that there’s still a good life ahead.
The two can work alongside each other. Many Empower families access other forms of support too.
How Empower’s Mentor Program works
Empower has been running its Mentor Program since 2013. The process has four clear stages.
- Step 1: Meet with Empower
Interested mentors start with a short inquiry form. It takes under 10 minutes. From there, a member of Empower’s program staff reaches out to schedule a meet and greet, either on Zoom or in person. - Step 2: Complete an application
After the initial meeting, mentors complete a full application. This includes personal information, screening documents, and background check materials. It takes time to complete, and that’s by design. - Step 3: Training
Every mentor goes through a comprehensive training program developed in partnership with Mass Mentoring Partnerships (MMP) and Empower’s own Policy and Procedural Manual. At training, mentors meet other volunteers who share the same belief: no child should grieve alone. - Step 4: The match
Before any match is made, Empower shares details about a potential mentee with the mentor. The match considers age, background, interests, and the nature of each person’s loss. Mentors are involved throughout the process, not just assigned someone and handed a schedule.
What does a mentor actually do?
Mentors spend time doing normal, everyday activities with their mentee. A walk. A coffee. A sporting event. A text check-in on a hard day.
There’s no script and no formula. The relationship develops over time, shaped by the two people in it. What stays consistent is the foundation: a mentor who has been there. Someone a young person can call on a Tuesday in October when grief decides to show up without any particular reason.
Mentors commit to one year. The program varies by region, and Empower’s staff provides ongoing support to every match throughout.
Who can join as a mentee?
The Mentor Program is open to children and young adults up through age 24 who have experienced the death of a parent.
Children under 14 must be enrolled by a caregiver or guardian. Young people aged 14 and older can enroll themselves.
The program is completely free for all families. There is no cost at any stage.
Enroll your child or young adult here.
What about safety?
Every mentor is screened and background-checked before being matched with a young person. Empower partners with Mass Mentoring Partnerships and follows their best-practice guidelines for screening, training, and ongoing monitoring.
The safety and wellbeing of each child is Empower’s first priority. Caregivers can feel confident that the adult sitting across from their child has been carefully and thoroughly vetted.
Beyond mentoring: events and community
The Mentor Program is Empower’s one-on-one offering, but it isn’t the only way young people can connect.
Empower also runs year-round events for children and young adults across New England and beyond. These include annual gatherings like the Mother’s Day event and Father’s Day event, where kids and teens spend a full day with others who understand.
If you’re not ready for a one-on-one match yet, events are a natural starting point. Many families come to the Mentor Program after attending an event first. Both paths are welcome.
Events are also free for all families.
What it means to become a mentor
Mentors are adults aged 25 and older who have experienced the death of a parent.
You don’t need a clinical background. You don’t need all the answers. You need to have lived it and be willing to show up for a year, in ordinary ways, for a young person who needs to see what you’ve built.
Many of Empower’s mentors were once the kids who needed this themselves. They found the program, got through it, and came back.
Become a mentor here.
How to get started
For families, the first step is enrollment. Start here.
For adults who want to volunteer, begin with a mentor inquiry. Start here.
Questions about either program? Contact Empower directly. The team will walk you through everything.
You don’t have to figure this out alone. That’s the whole point.