Featured in Get Griefy Magazine: The Story Behind Empower’s Mentor Program
Empower was recently featured in Issue 9 of Get Griefy Magazine, a publication that helps teens navigate grief with honesty and hope. The piece traces where Empower started and why mentorship works the way it does. Here’s some of that story, in our own words.
You Are Not the Only One
Picture being the only kid in your school whose mom died. Not one other person who gets it. That was Empower founder Cara Belvin’s reality after her mom died when she was nine.
Years later, that experience became Empower. Not a support group. Not a therapy office. Something built by people who’ve been there, for people who are there now.
It started over a decade ago as empowerHER, a single Mother’s Day sleepover for seven girls whose moms had died. Today it’s the only youth grief mentorship program of its kind in the world, with chapters across the U.S. and U.K., open to kids, teens, and young adults of all genders.
What a Grief Mentor Actually Is
Not a therapist. Not someone who makes you talk about your feelings on a schedule.
A mentor is someone 25 or older who also lost a parent, and who you can text, call, or hang out with whenever you need to. No agenda.
One mentor, Mark, put it simply when he met his mentee Greg:
“Your dad died. My dad died. Let’s go get a cheeseburger.”
That’s the whole idea.
Why Peer Support Works
Years after that first cheeseburger, Mark told Greg about his own father’s funeral, how he didn’t cry that day at all. Grief caught up with him later, unexpectedly, at a friend’s loss instead.
Greg filed that story away. Then his own best friend lost a parent, and at the wake, Greg broke down harder than he had at his own father’s funeral. Confused, he called the one person who’d understand without needing an explanation.
“I get it now,” he told Mark. “That’s exactly what you meant.”
This is what a mentor offers that a calendar of sessions can’t: someone who already knows what’s coming, long before the person going through it does.
Nothing You Have to Do
Empower’s approach is built around permission, not pressure:
- You don’t have to talk about the person who died. Not today, not for six months.
- You don’t have to come to every event.
- You don’t have to be “over it.” Ever.
Cara puts it this way:
“It’s like a tattoo. It’ll fade, but it’s not going anywhere.”
A Future You Can Picture
At a fundraiser years ago, a sixteen-year-old girl who’d grown up in Empower’s programs got on stage to tell her story. She talked about watching Cara laugh with friends at a Mother’s Day retreat, easy and normal, and what that meant to her:
“I see Cara in the corner laughing with her friends, and I think, maybe one day that’ll be me.”
Being around people who understand doesn’t just make grief feel less lonely. It makes a future feel possible again.
Not Just for Girls Anymore
Empower began as empowerHER, serving only girls who had lost their moms. A major donation a few years ago helped expand the program to include all kids living with the loss of a parent, regardless of gender.
The Gap Nobody Else Was Filling
Before starting Empower, Cara worked as a school psychologist. She saw two gaps clearly: bereavement centers require a weekly drive to a building on a schedule. Bereavement camps mostly run in summer, not on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, the days that are often hardest.
Empower fills both:
- Free community events on the days that hurt most, not just in summer
- A peer mentorship model built specifically for grief, matched one-on-one
- In-person matching in active hub cities, and virtual matching for anyone, anywhere
Why Empower Goes Up Through Age 24
This wasn’t arbitrary. A conversation with author Claire Bidwell Smith helped Cara see something important: young adults ages 19 to 24 lose their soft landing right when they need it most.
When most 22-year-olds go through a hard breakup, they can go home for a weekend and get wrapped in parental support. A young adult who’s lost a parent doesn’t have that option. Empower’s age range exists to interrupt that gap before it compounds.
How a Family Gets Started
The process is intentionally unhurried:
- Enroll – A parent, teacher, neighbor, or the young person themselves (if 14 or older) can start the process
- Connect – A field coordinator reaches out within 48 hours to help figure out next steps
- Match – Families review two to three vetted mentor profiles and take their time deciding
- Flex – Families move in and out of participation as needed. A quiet week doesn’t mean falling off track
A Word for Caregivers
Cara is honest about what surviving parents carry: suddenly the default parent for everything, while grieving themselves, often with nowhere to put that weight down.
Connecting a child to Empower isn’t outsourcing parenting. It’s permission for a caregiver to exhale a little, knowing their child has someone else in their corner too.
What Mentors and Families Say
“What I try to give my mentee is something simple but real: the living proof that you can come out the other side.” — Brad, mentor
“I am so lucky to have been matched with Stephanie through the Empower mentor program.” — Empower participant
“I’ve learned that’s not what defines you, it’s your strength and how you handle adversity.” — Empower participant
Get Started with Empower
If your child is under 14, a parent, guardian, teacher, or neighbor can enroll them. If they’re 14 or older, they can sign up themselves.
Enroll a child or young adult →
Become a mentor →
Read the full feature in Get Griefy Magazine, Issue 9 →